Wednesday, October 31, 2007

It's Halloween again. Last year I wrote about Erica's death and I thought maybe this year should be about life. Her life. My life. Our friends lives. They all intertwine and as I try to think of a singular story to tell, I realize I can't. It all comes together in this mix of memories and feelings. I think about a birthday party in her basement where we all realized that we loved Apples to Apples. Then I move to her trampoline in the snow where one of my favorite pictures was taken. I remember gym class where almost every day was spent sitting against the wall trading music with the rest of the class. And trips to Popeyes where the old lady always told us we were too loud. Bowling nicknames. Notes. Loud yawns. Laughing so hard your stomach hurts. Random trips with her family. Almost swimming in a thunderstorm. They're all larger stories that wouldn't normally connect, but in mind they flow from one to the other.

Today I thought about what was happening 2 years ago at this time. Erica was living her last 24 hours. I've thought about Katelynn and the phone calls that she had to make. I've thought about Leila and Dylan as they remember their last moments with their sister. I've thought about her parents and the way they've spread Erica's story.

On November 11, Erica would have been 19. Veteran's Day.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Reflections of My Passed Week

-Matt Nathanson is one of my favorite artists and has been for a couple of years. I saw him in concert on Wednesday and he was awesome of course, but it was nothing I hasn't seen before. I felt bothered afterwards and I couldn't figure out why. I really enjoyed it. He was amazing, right on. He sounded just like he did on his cds. Maybe that's the problem. I like it when a band or artist wows me with their live performance. I don't want them to sound just like the cd. That's boring. Give me something more.

-We combined parents birthdays on Friday with dinner at Abuelo's. It was fun. Having Drew there with us made it seem more celebratory for some reason. Something out of the ordinary. I've missed Drew.

-This weekend was ACU's Fall Break. Translation: we get Friday off. Rachel and I spent it well. Slept in until 12:30, washed dishes, did laundry, waited to shower until after 3, I went to dinner with family, Rachel went to dinner with Berenice, then went to bed at 3. We're real party animals.

This next week will be lots of work. I have papers and tests and all of this will probably make me cranky. Tomorrow being Sunday makes it seems like next week is coming too quickly for my liking.

Monday, October 22, 2007

I went for a walk tonight.
by myself.
it was windy.

very windy.

I realized a few things about myself:
I love the wind. It makes me feel like I'm walking along the beach at night with the waves crashing beside me in the dark.
I love dusk. The light that makes everything barely visible.
I love being alone. just walking. me time. no thoughts. no intrusions.

Wind. violent. pushing. holding. breaking. falling. noiseless. loud. scary. exciting. adventure. open. beating. pounding.

I love wind.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

All We Are
by Matt Nathanson

I tasted, tasted love so sweet
And all of it was lost on me
Bought and sold like property
Sugar on my tongue

I kept falling over
I kept looking backward
I went broke believing
That the simple should be hard

All we are we are
All we are we are
And every day is a start of something beautiful

I wasted, wasted love for you
Trading out for something new
Well, it's hard to change the way you lose
If you think you've never won

'Cause all we are we are
All we are we are
And every day is a start of something beautiful

And in the end the words won't matter
'Cause in the end nothing stays the same
And in the end dreams just scatter and fall like rain

'Cause all we are we are
All we are we are
And every day is a start of something beautiful, something real

All we are we are
All we are we are
And every day is a start of something beautiful, beautiful

Thursday, October 11, 2007

I'm so sorry you all have had to put up with my Hanson obsession lately. But I promise this will be my last mention of Hanson (for now). I've fallen in love with their opener: Locksley... and you will hear more about them, but first: PICTURES!!
Katie and I trying for the second or third time to get the House of Blues sign in the background... you can actually see it when the picture's larger.
Hanson's first opener: Green River Ordinance. They were okay but just boring.
This is Locksley. So much energy, none of the pictures came out clear.
Kai... the wonderful guitarist. We met him afterwards!
And this is Hanson when they first came out. This is also when Katie and I were almost crushed to death by short Hanson fans.
Acoustic. Of course..........
The fans were green... well in this picture they were.

During this show, Isaac here had a blood clot in his shoulder but kept playing. It wasn't until the next day that we found out he was rushed to the hospital and had surgery. CRAZY! But I'm not going to lie, I'm glad he finished the show because it was awesome!

Monday, October 08, 2007

Ever since the concert, I can't get this song out of my head!

I find hope and it gives me rest.
I find hope in a beating chest.
I find hope in what eyes don't see.
I find hope in your hate for me.
Have no fear when the water's rising.
We can conquer this Great Divide.

Saturday, October 06, 2007

These are the pictures they took when Eryn and I visited Savanna in August. They dressed me up as a Top Model... my "dress" was really Sava's shirt! Savanna was my crazy fan...

Thursday, October 04, 2007

I have two words to describe the hanson concert last night:

Freakin' Awesome

Monday, October 01, 2007

There were spots open for next semester in the ACU Study Abroad program for Oxford. I've been planning for the past month because I thought everything I needed to do to get one of those spots was done. I was wrong and I'm not going. I think I now know what a broken heart feels like.