Tuesday, December 01, 2009


My friend Eryn rented the movie "Phoebe in Wonderland" over the summer and we watched it together. Neither of us had any idea what it was about so we didn't know what was coming. In January I realized that my level of shyness wasn't normal. It's always been more than just being shy for me. So 6 months and two failed attempts at counseling later I sit down to watch this movie.

I don't want to give it away, but something is obviously wrong with Phoebe. She says things without being able to stop herself. She spits at people when she's angry and she can't help it. She bangs up her legs because she feels forced to play a stair jumping game. When life is difficult Phoebe escapes to Wonderland. She sees Alice and the caterpillar and the Red Queen. I don't have what Phoebe has, but I understand her. She escapes to a different world because she feels trapped in the real one. Sometimes I wish I had dealt with this when I was her age, but mostly I just wish I didn't have to deal with it at all. I can't say how many times I've asked all the questions Phoebe asks in this movie. I also wish my questions could be as easily answered.